remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
