So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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