and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ugly people sure do ruin things
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
