I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
