Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
