He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
