You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
