now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
