Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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