Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
