I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize