Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There r osticjed everywhere
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
