There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
