i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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