I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
