That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
