I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
