Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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