No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
