I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
