You're so nebulous sometimes
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
