That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize