Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
