but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I cut my penus on the lid.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
