your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
