Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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