is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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