oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize