like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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