Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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