Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
