I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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