perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
