Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
