Don't you send me to vm
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize