I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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