she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
