He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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