I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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