drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i've created a new STD.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
