watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
