My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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