There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
