Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
