Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
