at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think I just sharted jello shots
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize