can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
