My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
