thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
