That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
