Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
