Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
