He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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