How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
