1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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