i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize