toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize