U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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