Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Acid is not a monday night drug
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
