It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
